Looking back, I really did took a hard left turn instead of turning to the right. It took every fiber of my being to make a decision that was all mine and yet I wasn’t happy. I thought, “If I can’t make myself happy, who will?”.
The struggle of an accountancy student of HAU definitely do not start on the first day of class, it starts when you try to get a line number from the most polite security guard to pay for your most affordable tuition fee and from then on, everything is a battle.
Oh come on! This picture has everything to do with my story, alright? This is not just a simple selfie-while-drinking-coffee photo. Aryt, let’s get into it.
I found this manga long ago and to tell you the truth I was not eager to read it at all. Well, mainly because it’s still ongoing and I can’t stress enough how much it bothers me when I read an ongoing manga (except for one piece, like hello???) But yesterday, out of boredom, I went to mangafox site to find an interesting romance manga and then out of the blue (just like how yaya dub appeared right before alden’s eyes!!!!) I saw Orange (TAKANO Ichigo). I was immediately hooked with the story, which I prefer to not reveal because really I’m bad at making reviews/summary. I tend to spoil everything using one sentence. So to be clear guys, I am making a recommendation here.
As amazing as life can be, there are moments when you just feel like giving up completely. Letting every little thing that hunts you down to win and letting yourself drown with what could’ve been and what can never be.
Today is my birthday. I was trying to stop myself from posting something that I might regret later. For goodness sake, this day haven’t even started yet! But I couldn’t wait anymore.. You see, I have been carrying this heavy feeling in my heart for the past weeks. I have so many concerns, worries, and different kinds of frustrations in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I am truly grateful for everything that God has blessed me with. Without Him, I wouldn’t be here. Nothing would be here. It’s just that I am not happy. For whatever reason, I can’t feel anything but sadness in my heart.
I’ll make no excuses for leaving this blog for awhile because first, I don’t have any, and second, I’ve been too busy dealing with my life lately aka my reality.
The past three months has been mostly about school. My life, as boring as it is, came back with its usual routine but with a twist. I am now starting to realize that I am getting older and soon I have to act like an adult. Every night, I can’t help but to think about what I really want to do with my life. Yes, I am an accountancy student and I want to graduate, pass the board exam, and be a CPA. But lately, I’ve been wondering if I can really do it. There are a lot of accountancy students out there who are far more intelligent and confident than I am. Ang hirap kasi, e. It’s so hard to work to be on top when everyone else seems to get it in the easiest way. It seems unfair at nakakawalang-gana. Last semester, I lost my chance to graduate with flying colors. Not that I am hurt, I am just too disappointed with myself. Kung ginalingan ko pa sana, kung nagsipag pa sana ako, kung nagpuyat pa sana ako ng isa pang oras, at kung nagsagot pa sana ako ng isa pang problem, baka andyan pa, baka may chance pako, baka sakaling mas maging proud ang parents ko.
Pero inisip ko nalang, may mas maganda sigurong plano si Lord sa aken. I have to let go some things in order to give space for something better. Ito talaga siguro yung pagiging adult; learning how accept things even if hurts, letting go of things that you can never change, and accepting the fact that not everything happens the way you want them to. I can’t say that I have learned a lot about life for the past nineteen years but now that I am almost tweenteen-y, I’ll try my best to experience life to the fullest. I still have a lot to learn. Madami pa, sobra. I am nowhere near my ideal self. Sabi nga sa PDPR, self-development is a long-term commitment. Kaya cheers to slowly becoming an adult, menia! Enjoy your journey! 🙂
U too, have a wonderful journey to whatever road you take! x
April 23, 2015: It was almost 11 o’clock pm when I received a message regarding a one-day trip with my best frands. I expected that we’re going to have our own summer vacation trip but I did not anticipated it to be this early. Apparently, they are planning on going to Fontana Waterpark on April 24, which means at that time it is “tomorrow”. And we haven’t even planned properly yet. Besides, I am not sure if I’ll be able to come since I have a kind of parent who needs to be informed a week before the trip. Hahaha. But I guess that night was different. Yes!
Finally, we’re able to spontaneously plan our long delayed getaway!
I can’t believe I almost forgot that I have a blog. Is that even possible? (No? Okay. Sorry, I was joking.)
I have so much to write on this particular blog post but due to lack of time and motivation, I will just make a summary of what has been happening to my life lately. Or not.
So, for the supposed to be year-ender post. This year gave me so many reasons to be grateful for. Obviously, there were some downs but there were always some ups. There are moments that I definitely want to remember for the rest of my life but there were some too that I wanted leave behind and just label them as my past. To be honest, I did not expect anything for the year 2014. I was too scared to expect that something good will happen, although I was hoping. But things worked the way God wanted them to be and for that I am grateful. I know that I am slowly going back on track. I learned a lot of lessons too, if I truly assess what kind of year is 2014, I can say that it’s full of learnings about myself and the people around me. I learned how to love myself more, to focus on permanent things, to know my priorities, to be independent and at the same time to depend on God more.
I also realized that I don’t have to be like someone else in order to be love or to be like by the people around me. As they always say, the opinion of others does not really matter. Also, in life, some things does not work in a way you wanted them to be, that you cannot just control everything. This year also made me more of a risk-taker. If there is one thing that I’ll never forget about managerial finance that is, the more risk you take, the greater return you get. It will always be worth it, I assure you. Lastly, every journey becomes ultimately fun if you share it with the One who loves you no matter what.
Now, I don’t want to spoil anything for myself so I won’t promise anything but I am already claiming it. Just like what I did last year. So this 2015, I am hoping for more answered prayers, life learnings, and happiest of everything!
“When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.”
Let’s talk about how I spent my sembreak and the day after that, which is school. Haha!
All I can say is I got all the time I needed to rest, to sleep, to watch, to eat, to do everything that I want. In short, things which are not related to school. Instead of starting to review for our qualifying exam next year, I’ve decided to make this break as an opportunity to give myself a rest. I’m not gonna be productive if I’m going to review anyway. Besides, I’m not yet in the mood to do anything related to school. I had a really tough semester so.. I guess I deserve a little break.
I don’t know how I’m going to start this little recap regarding my bakasyo.. oo bitin! Okay, I cut my hair and yeah (I’m too shy to say it), had a time to watch tv series (I am in love with TWD and suits and the mentalist!!!!), fan girl-ed so much about one direction’s new music video, bought the shoes that I like (OMG!!!), of course Halloween (I don’t like it), spent time with my family and my pets, started my journal (I am excited), and realized that I need to go back on track, I am going to lose if I didn’t and it is not healthy for my life anymore. To sum it up, I had a fun, simple, and a “me&Him” time semestral break.
About school, Idk but I don’t feel anything about going back to school. I guess I am still hoping that they would miraculously extend the break for at least one more week because I’m still feeling weak. Joke. And now that it started, all I can say is sana bakasyon nalang ulit.
I was a grade five elementary student (if I am not mistaken) when I first watched Naruto, and from then on I became a great fan of Anime. Naruto just ended last two days, again if I am not mistaken, and couldn’t believe that it really is over. It was my first favorite anime and it was the anime that got me into more animes and mangas. I am making this post because I felt the need to thank its mangaka and to everyone who became part of the amazing and epic story of Naruto. Thank you for making my childhood fun, Masashi Kishimoto! Thank you for 15 years of adventures with my ramen boy, for sharing your world with us, for letting me feel how to be a ninja every time I watch Naruto and for teaching me not to give up with my hopes and dreams. Thank you, Naruto. I will surely miss you. Thank you for the memories and great episodes!
PS: See you soon?
My life lately includes watching movies, reading wattpad stories, surfing the net, eating, spending time with my family and of course, my cat and also I’ve been spending more time with myself and my bed.